Schlauraffen Land (Grimm)
Division into sections is editorial.
Opening fantastical sights and impossible feats
A storyteller recounted his extraordinary journey to the mythical land of Schlauraffen, where he witnessed impossible wonders that defied all natural laws. He began his tale by describing the most astounding sights that greeted him upon arrival.
In the time of Schlauraffen I went there, and saw Rome and the Lateran hanging by a small silken thread, and a man without feet who outran a swift horse
The narrator marveled at a keen sharp sword that possessed the power to cut through an entire bridge. These opening visions established the topsy-turvy nature of this fantastical realm where physical limitations held no meaning and the impossible became commonplace.
Magical animals and supernatural flora
The storyteller encountered remarkable creatures that possessed extraordinary abilities. He observed a young ass adorned with a silver nose that pursued two fleet hares across the landscape. Most wondrous of all was an enormous lime-tree that bore hot cakes growing from its branches instead of ordinary fruit.
Among the most peculiar animals was an ancient goat that appeared lean and frail yet somehow carried the impossible burden of a hundred cartloads of fat upon its body, along with sixty additional loads of salt. The narrator paused in his recounting to acknowledge the absurdity of his claims.
There I saw a lean old goat which carried about a hundred cartloads of fat on his body, and sixty loads of salt. Have I not told enough lies?
The narrator continued describing miraculous feats performed by children and objects. A single one-year-old child demonstrated superhuman strength by hurling four massive millstones across vast distances, throwing them from Ratisbon to Treves and then from Treves to Strasburg. Even a hawk exercised unusual privileges, swimming across the Rhine river, which the narrator noted it had every right to do in this strange land.
Impossible activities and natural phenomena
The narrator witnessed extraordinary natural phenomena that challenged all understanding of the physical world. He heard fishes creating such tremendous disturbances with each other that their commotion echoed all the way to heaven itself.
There I heard some fishes begin to make such a disturbance with each other, that it resounded as far as heaven, and sweet honey flowed like water
Sweet honey flowed like water from a deep valley located at the top of a high mountain, defying gravity and logic. The narrator observed pairs of creatures performing tasks completely contrary to their nature. Two crows worked diligently mowing a meadow, while two tiny gnats constructed a bridge. Most shocking of all, two gentle doves tore a fierce wolf to pieces, reversing the natural order of predator and prey.
Human activities also followed impossible patterns in this land. Two children brought forth two kids, while two frogs worked together threshing corn. The narrator witnessed agricultural work performed by the most unlikely participants, as these strange partnerships continued throughout his journey.
Animals in human roles and the storys end
The narrator encountered even more bizarre role reversals as animals assumed human occupations and responsibilities. Two mice performed the sacred duty of consecrating a bishop, while two cats engaged in the gruesome task of scratching out a bear's tongue. In a display of unexpected speed and violence, a snail came running and killed two furious lions.
Human activities continued in equally absurd fashion. A barber performed his trade by shaving off a woman's beard, while two nursing infants commanded their mother to hold her tongue. Two greyhounds demonstrated remarkable strength by bringing an entire mill out of the water, accompanied by a sorry old horse that declared this action was perfectly right.
The final scenes showed domestic animals performing household tasks with great determination. Four horses stood in the yard threshing corn with all their might, while two goats heated the stove and a red cow shot bread into the oven. The narrator concluded his fantastical tale as a cock crowed to signal the story's end.
Then a cock crowed, Cock-a-doodle-doo! The story is all toldâCock-a-doodle-doo!