The History of a Town (Saltykov-Shchedrin)
Short summary
Russia, 1731–1826. The fictional town of Glupov (meaning 'Stupid Town') endured a succession of bizarre and tyrannical governors appointed by the Imperial Government. The town's origins traced back to the ancient Headbeaters, who constantly warred with neighboring tribes until they realized they needed a ruler. After being rejected by two princes who called them stupid, they finally found a prince who agreed to rule them through a deputy, imposing heavy tribute and renaming them Glupovites for their inability to live in freedom.
The governors who followed were uniformly absurd and cruel. One had a music-box mechanism in his head that could only say two phrases. Another, Brigadier Ferdyshchenko, initially ruled peacefully but became tyrannical when infatuated with a woman, leading to devastating fires and famine.
Basilisk Borodavkin launched brutal 'wars of enlightenment' to force the citizens to accept mustard, olive oil, and other reforms, burning suburbs and decimating the population.
The final governor, Ugryum-Burcheev, a former punishment-orderly, was the most terrifying of all. He destroyed the old town and attempted to build a new one based on rigid geometric principles and military formations, even trying to redirect the river.
As the Glupovites began to resist his tyranny, a mysterious natural phenomenon occurred.
...before he could finish there was a resounding crack and the former punishment-orderly vanished in a moment as though he had melted in the air. History had ceased its course.
Detailed summary by chapters
Preface
The work presented itself as a chronicle of the town of Glupov, whose very name meant 'Stupid Town' in Russian. The chroniclers explained that their purpose was to celebrate the succession of governors appointed by the Imperial Government of Russia, portraying them through their firmness and boldness rather than through philosophy or poetry.
Address to the Reader from the Last Chronicler
The last chronicler questioned whether Christians should be less willing than ancient Hellenes and Romans to exalt their powerful rulers. He dismissed as folly the notion that Russia lacked its own renowned figures of authority, arguing that every place inherently possessed its own divinely appointed leader. These convictions prompted him and his three predecessors to chronicle the glorious governors who graced Glupov, celebrating them through their firmness and boldness.
The chronicler explained that his task was not to criticize or reason, but simply to describe the relationship between governors and populace for posterity's edification. He likened himself to an earthen vessel containing praise to be poured forth. The chronicle was written sequentially by four archivists, whose primary fear was that their notebooks might fall into the hands of a certain Master Bartenev and be published in his historical journal.
Concerning the Origin of the Glupovites
The chronicler recounted the origins of the ancient people known as the Headbeaters, who resided in the far north. Their name derived from their peculiar habit of beating their heads against obstacles or in prayer. They coexisted with numerous other independent tribes, such as the Walrus-eaters, Onion-eaters, Slop-eaters, Dunderheads, and Pot-bellies, among many others. These tribes lacked religion and government, dedicating their time to ceaseless warfare, forming and breaking alliances, declaring war and making peace with abandon.
Facing extinction due to dwindling resources, the Headbeaters realized the necessity of a ruler and proposed a head-beating contest to their neighbors. They successfully out-beat most tribes, with some yielding quickly while others resisted longer. To defeat the Pot-bellies, they resorted to trickery, using the sun's position and waving their hats to suggest witchcraft. After unifying the tribes, the Headbeaters tried to establish internal order, but their attempts were absurd and futile, including trying to make dough in the Volga and dragging a calf to a bath-house. These efforts resulted in no lasting order, leading them to seek a prince.
The wise elder Dobromysl suggested a prince would bring order and build a prison. They traveled to a prince and boasted of their bravery, but when asked what else they had done, their account of trivial acts dissolved into bickering and laughter. Enraged by their foolishness, the prince called them Glupovites and refused to rule them.
'Stupid, that’s what you are! You shouldn’t be called Headbeaters... but Glupovites: “Stupid folk”. I don’t want to govern the likes of you. Find yourselves the stupidest prince...'
The Headbeaters made further ludicrous attempts at self-governance, which again failed. After being deceived multiple times in their search for a stupid prince, they finally encountered a very wise prince who demonstrated his power expertly. The prince agreed to rule but refused to live among them due to their beastly ways. Instead, he appointed a deputy to govern them in Glupov while he ruled from afar. The prince imposed heavy tribute and strict rules, formally renaming them Glupovites for their inability to live in freedom and their foolish desire for bondage.
On their journey home, the Glupovites lamented their fate, realizing they had enslaved themselves. An old man sang a mournful folk-song about facing a dreadful judge, bringing tears to all who now understood the excellence of the freedom they had heedlessly cast away. Accepting their fate, they established the town of Glupov in a swampy area. A succession of corrupt deputies followed, each provoking rebellions and suppressing them brutally. Finally, the prince himself came to Glupov and declared he would flog them, marking the beginning of a new historical era for the town.
A Schedule of the Governors Appointed at Different Times by the Imperial Government of Russia to the Town of Glupov (1731–1826)
The chronicle presented a list of governors appointed to Glupov between 1731 and 1826, offering brief biographical sketches and notable achievements or failures. The first governor, an Italian brought for his cooking skills, was exiled after being flogged for treason. He was followed by a former barber who was torn to pieces by dogs. Others included a Greek merchant bitten to death by bed-bugs, a seven-foot-tall brigadier who broke in half in a gale, and a German sergeant who achieved nothing. One governor had a mechanism in his head instead of a brain, while another was discovered to have a head filled with force-meat. The list included a French cross-dresser who was deported upon discovery of being a woman, and concluded with the current governor who arrived on a white horse, burnt down the high school, and abolished learning.
The Music-Box
In August 1762, Glupov celebrated the arrival of their new town-governor, Dementy Varlamovich Brudasty. The townsfolk concocted flattering stories about him, hoping that under his rule trade would thrive and arts and sciences would flourish. However, his arrival was anything but celebratory. He galloped into Glupov, immediately whipping stage-drivers, and proved to be taciturn and morose.
At his official reception, he silently walked among officials, flashed his eyes, declared 'I'll not have it!' and vanished into his office. The Glupovites were perplexed by his enigmatic behavior. He secluded himself in his office, constantly writing, occasionally emerging to toss papers at clerks and proclaim 'I'll not have it!' This led to widespread chaos: arrests, floggings, and property seizures became common. The ominous phrase echoed through the town, making the Glupovites fear a mass whipping. Glupov descended into gloom, streets were deserted, and rumors spread that the governor was a werewolf or vampire.
It was discovered that the governor was secretly visiting Baibakov, a watch-maker known for making music-boxes. Witnesses saw Baibakov leaving the governor's apartment with a wrapped item, and noted that during these nocturnal visits, the governor's usual cries ceased. A note summoned the Glupov intelligentsia for a harangue. When the governor opened his mouth to speak, a whirring and humming sound emanated, his eyes rolled, and he finally managed to utter 'H... h... ave it!' before rushing back into his apartment.
The next morning, a purely fortuitous oversight abruptly ended his career. His secretary found the governor's body seated at his desk, but his head, completely empty, lay on a pile of tax-registers. Baibakov was called to account and confessed that the governor's head contained a music-box with two phrases: 'I'll break you!' and 'I'll not have it!' Due to dampness during transit, the mechanism had become faulty. Baibakov had attempted repairs but failed, and a new head had been ordered from St. Petersburg. The deputy governor telegraphed for the replacement head and locked up the body. Anarchy soon set in as the new head did not arrive: taxes went uncollected, officials became idle, and murders occurred.
The new head, entrusted to an inexperienced boy, had been carelessly transported. When it suddenly spoke, declaring 'I'll break you!', the terrified boy threw it onto the road and fled. Glupov was in turmoil, with citizens accusing officials of disposing of the governor. Just then, a cart arrived carrying the chief constable and the missing governor, mud-stained and bruised. He jumped down and deafeningly cried 'I'll break you!', instantly quelling the disturbance. Unexpectedly, Baibakov arrived in the governor's carriage, followed by a second governor, identical to the first but with a new, varnished head. The two pretenders faced each other, and the crowd slowly dispersed.
The Tale of the Six Town-Governesses: Civil Strife in Glupov
Following the chaos of two identical governors, a messenger arrived to apprehend them, inadvertently plunging Glupov into deeper anarchy as the townsfolk, now leaderless and driven by an intense desire for authority, descended into civil strife. The anarchy commenced with violent acts, including throwing citizens from the bell-tower and drowning others in the river. Amidst this disarray, ambitious women sought to exploit the power vacuum. Iraidka Paleologova, a childless widow of formidable character and masculine physique, became the first to seize control.
While the deputy governor was engrossed in a card game, she stormed the treasury, took prisoners, plundered public funds, and distributed coppers to the populace. The deputy governor attempted to reclaim authority but was intercepted and brought before her. However, this peaceful resolution was threatened by a staff-officer who persuaded Klemantinka de Bourbon, an adventuress claiming legitimacy, to challenge her. Klemantinka quickly garnered support, leading to further violence. A battle ensued, lasting through the night. By morning, Iraidka's position weakened, and in a dramatic act, she blew herself up along with her captives using the stolen treasury money.
More pretenders quickly emerged. Amalya Stockfisch, a plump German woman, captured Klemantinka and won over the Glupovites with her bold demeanor and the promise of free vodka. However, Polish conspirators devised a plan to put forward Anelja Ladochowska as another pretender. Amalya's reign ended abruptly when she was apprehended and locked in a cage with Klemantinka, where they consumed each other, leaving only bones. Dunka Tolstopyataya and Matrenka-Nozdrya then instigated further violence. After a prolonged siege, Dunka was ultimately consumed by her own bugs. Finally, on the seventh day, State Councillor Semen Konstantinovich Dvoekurov arrived as the newly appointed governor, bringing an end to this violent and ludicrous episode in Glupov's history.
Notice Concerning Dvoekurov
Dvoekurov held office in Glupov from 1762 to 1770. Despite the lack of detailed records, his governorship was presumed to be Glupov's best period. These references suggested he was a progressive and diligent leader. The chronicler's apparent omission of a full biography was theorized to be a deliberate suppression by his successors, likely stemming from the liberal nature of his biography. Regardless of the specifics of his personal struggles, his rule in Glupov was presented as undeniably fruitful. His introduction of mead and beer brewing, and the mandatory use of mustard and bay-leaf, were cited as evidence of his innovative spirit.
The Hungry Town
The year 1776 initially brought great fortune to Glupov under Brigadier Petr Petrovich Ferdyshchenko. For six years, the town enjoyed unprecedented peace, attributed to his simple and unassuming nature. However, in his seventh year, he underwent a dramatic change, becoming active and resolute. This shift coincided with his infatuation with Alenka Osipova, a beautiful, plump woman married to a stage-driver.
The Brigadier attempted to proposition her, but she brazenly rejected him. In retaliation, he had her and her husband severely lashed. After another rejection, her husband erupted in rebellious shouting and was imprisoned. That night, a fire broke out, and her husband, suspected of arson, was tortured and exiled to Siberia. The townspeople began to suffer the consequences of the Brigadier's actions, experiencing an unprecedented drought and famine. The Glupovites, facing starvation, resorted to desperate measures. The Brigadier, seemingly oblivious, continued his iniquities, buying Alenka gifts. They confronted him, criticizing his behavior and warning him of potential unrest. The Glupovites grew increasingly insolent, openly questioning his competence as famine worsened. With no bread and no effective leadership, they wrote a petition blaming Alenka for their misfortunes. However, no reply came. The remaining citizens gathered, demanding Alenka. They threw her from the bell-tower, where she was immediately consumed by stray dogs. At that moment, soldiers arrived, bringing the sound of trumpets, mistaken by the Glupovites for the arrival of bread, thus ending the town's ordeal with brutal irony.
The Town of Straw
The Fantastic Traveller
The Wars of Enlightenment
Basilisk Semenovich Borodavkin assumed the role of town-governor, a stark contrast to his lax predecessor. He was characterized by his extreme efficiency, administrative thoroughness in trivial matters, and an ever-present readiness for action. He was a loud individual, whose shouts were so fearsome they induced everlasting fear in the Glupovites. Beyond his administrative duties, he was an aspiring writer, meticulously adding a line daily to his extensive draft on expanding Russian military might to reclaim ancient Byzantium.
Recognizing the lack of larger political enterprises, Borodavkin shifted focus to local urgent needs, primarily civilization—defined as instilling firmness in misfortune among Russians. He reviewed the records of past governors, finding only State Councillor Dvoekurov stood out as a perceptive intellect and reformer who had introduced mustard and bay-leaf to Glupov. Borodavkin, inspired by Dvoekurov's success with mustard, aimed to introduce olive oil. He learned that Dvoekurov enforced his reforms with extreme brutality, including widespread flogging and exiling. Borodavkin decided to re-implement mustard and introduce olive oil, declaring their use obligatory and punishing non-compliance. The Glupovites resisted with force of inaction, refusing to swallow the mustard despite being forced to chew it.
The town governors... all flogged the inhabitants, but the first flogged them pure and simple, the second explained their zeal by referring to the needs of civilization...
The first War of Enlightenment began in 1780 over mustard. Borodavkin focused on the recalcitrant Musketeers' suburb, where a preacher claimed his name contained the number of the Beast. Feeling his hands were tied, he secretly drafted a statute allowing town-governors to disregard laws.
‘If you feel that a law puts an obstacle in your path, remove it from the table and place it underneath you. It is now invisible, and your course will be greatly eased.’
He embarked on a nine-day campaign, employing subterfuge by maneuvering his troops. After eight days of wandering, his exhausted troops reached the Musketeers' suburb, only to find it deserted. His lead soldiers miraculously came to life, demanding to break down houses. The destruction forced the Musketeers out of hiding, surrendering en masse. The rebellion ended, and Borodavkin returned in triumph. Three subsequent wars of enlightenment followed: one for stone foundations, another for growing feverfew, and a third for founding an academy. While these campaigns destroyed contumacy, they also decimated prosperity, leading to an economic crisis. Interpreting the economic decline as a rebellion caused by excessive enlightenment, Borodavkin launched new campaigns against enlightenment itself, burning down suburbs and destroying districts. As he prepared to burn the entire town, Providence intervened: he died suddenly in 1798.
The Period of Release from Wars
In 1802, Negodyaev fell from power. The authorities recognized Glupov's exhaustion from recent wars of enlightenment, necessitating a period of peace. His replacement was the Circassian Mikaladze, who was equally unconcerned with constitutional matters. Mikaladze's tenure marked a unique period for Glupov. His great passion was women, a pursuit that ultimately led to his demise.
Mikaladze's governorship was a blessing for the Glupovites. His predecessor had subjected them to intensive administration that left Glupov in disarray. Mikaladze prioritized freeing them from fear by suspending enlightenment and its chastisements and promulgating no new laws. The results were swift: within six months, a song and dance evening was held. His rule was characterized by peaceful accomplishments rather than glorious conquests. He established the valuable precedent of administering gently and without swearing. He died in 1806 from exhaustion.
Following Mikaladze, Feofilakt Irinarkhovich Benevolensky became governor. A State Councillor and friend of Speransky, he was innately drawn to legislation from youth. However, as a mere town-governor, he lacked the authority to promulgate his own laws. Upset, he retreated to a merchant's widow's house, devoting himself to writing sermons. Unable to endure it, he secretly scattered paper bills with his first law. Encouraged, he issued a second, more elaborate law about proper baking of pies. His plans for a full constitution were cut short by external events. In 1811, strained Russian relations with Napoleon led to Benevolensky entering secret relations with him. This treason was discovered, and he was arrested and driven away to a distant land of no return.
His successor was Lieutenant-Colonel Pryshch, who brought an even simpler system of administration. His program was one of non-interference and rest. Initially wary, the Glupovites eventually thrived under his unbounded liberalism. Their material well-being quadrupled, leading to an increase in leisure. However, unused to self-governance, they attributed their prosperity to an unknown power, fearing it was devilry. They grew suspicious of Pryshch, observing odd behaviors. The Marshal of the Nobility noticed he smelled of truffles. In a grotesque struggle, the Marshal cut pieces from Pryshch's head and swallowed them. The Glupovites later discovered their governor had a stuffed head.
The Worship of Mammon and Repentance
The narrative likened periods of historical confusion to dreams, where clarity was lost and people acted without clear purpose, driven solely by survival. Such a period engulfed Glupov, where malignant superficialities dominated. The inhabitants were depicted as enduring various absurd leaders for negligible benefits, leading to a state of perpetual dazedness. The brief rule following Major Pryshch's decapitation saw the town governed by police-inspectors, a period of relative prosperity. In 1815, Vicomte du Chariot, a French émigré, arrived. Despite national jubilation over Napoleon's defeat, Glupov descended into further moral decay, marked by absurd public shaming, idol worship, and abandonment of traditional values. Du Chariot did nothing to govern, instead indulging in masquerades, allowing the Glupovites to succumb to a shameless frenzy of revelry and impiety.
This period of moral dissolution set the stage for State Councillor Erast Andreevich Grustilov's arrival. He was a sensitive man with a depraved past disguised by piety. He found the town in a state of idol-worship. He was met with a procession celebrating Perun's birthday, confirming the pervasive moral decay. His inquiries revealed his own lecherous nature, as he showed more interest in girls and fancy women than governance, eventually deciding to reinstate flogging, particularly for women, signifying his internal policy of sentimentality overlaid with cruelty.
A mysterious masked lady appeared to him at a masked ball, admonishing his sleeping soul. She revealed herself as Pfeiffer's wife, a mystic who sought to awaken Grustilov. She guided him to a private room where her inner word profoundly affected him. Grustilov, deeply impacted, spent the night weeping, seeing Glupov and himself engulfed in a pit of sinfulness. He resolved to save them all and began his repentance by ordering the church bells to chime for mattins. He visited holy fools in their hovel, seeking absolution. After a bizarre exchange, he received absolution and returned home to sign an order for a chemist's expulsion. His transformation was immediate: he put on chains and subjected himself to flagellation. His piety set an example, and the number of faithful increased. However, this peaceful resolution was threatened by extremists led by holy fools, who were supported by beggars and cripples. These groups demanded immediate reforms and supervision. The beggars gained influence over Grustilov through a network of informers. The poor insisted on appointing a holy fool as school inspector, driven by a desire to preserve the Glupov philosophy of life. A calligraphy teacher who dared to question the Creation story was apprehended and brought to Grustilov. Accused of not believing in God, the teacher was assaulted by Grustilov and subjected to false testimony. This event solidified Grustilov's convictions. The town transformed: riotousness gave way to silence, idols were destroyed. However, this severe regime failed to satisfy the local intelligentsia, who sought raptures. Grustilov led them in nightly gatherings, initially with readings, then evolving into frenzied dancing and shouting. This unsustainable lifestyle was abruptly ended by a staff-officer who meticulously observed these activities and apprehended the participants.
Repentance Confirmed: Conclusion
Ugryum-Burcheev, a town-governor, was characterized by his terrifying, laconic, and utterly resolute nature, bordering on idiocy. He was devoid of passion and operated with machine-like precision. His sole ideal was regular formations, straight lines, and extreme simplicity, rejecting reason as an enemy. He neither raged nor sought revenge but acted as an unconscious force of nature. The Glupovites eventually recognized his limited vision, realizing that outside his immediate line of sight they were free, but within it, only marching was permitted.
A preserved portrait depicted him as a lean, wooden-faced man with a cone-shaped skull, sunken eyes, and a mouth suggesting a readiness to grind things to pieces. He held an Order on Resolute Flogging, seemingly surprised by the need for such regulations. The portrait conveyed the figure of a pure idiot, dangerous not for malice but for his alienness to reason and unwavering pursuit of a dark, inwardly vowed decision.
Idiots in general are very dangerous people... because they are alien to any kind of reasoning and invariably press on regardless, as though the path which they are on is their own exclusive property.
His ideal vision for Glupov, which he renamed Resolution, was a meticulously planned, regimented town with a central square, company lines instead of streets, and houses of uniform color. Children not promising steadfastness and the elderly would be put to death if town forces were over strength. Literacy would be abolished, and mathematics taught on fingers. His fantasy extended to strict apportionment of time in habitation units, each with a commanding officer and spy. He envisioned a world without God, idols, passions, or individual attachments, where people were constantly together yet alone, performing idiotic duties. His superiors were astonished and even venerated his vision.
Ugryum-Burcheev immediately set about implementing his plan in Glupov, which he found to be a disorderly jumble. He perceived it as a virgin forest to be dealt with. However, he encountered an unforeseen obstacle: the river. This living, twisting entity was a fantasy of nature confronting his own rigid fantasy. He tried to understand it, asking Why? to his bewildered police inspectors, and then vowed to stop it. He resolved to destroy the town and eliminate the river. A week before St. Peter's Day, he ordered a fast. On St. Peter's Day, after communion, he remained impassive. The next day, the destruction of Glupov began. He led the charge against the Town Council building, followed by detachments of inhabitants. The Glupovites destroyed their own homes tirelessly, not understanding their actions, driven by the grim idiot's uncomprehending gaze. As the demolition approached the river, his frustration grew because the river continued to flow unaffected. The Glupovites thronged the water, inexhaustibly driving piles and tipping refuse. The river, however, playfully swept it away. A massive pile was thrown in, and the river slowly began to flood the meadow. The flood expanded, destroying distant villages. He boasted, then ordered priests to work. However, his dreams collapsed the next morning as the river returned to its natural course. Speechless, he watched the waves, then decisively commanded a Right turn! Follow me! and led the inhabitants away to a perfectly level plain.
A new town began construction, but unwholesome passions and unreliable elements also resurfaced. The chronicler detailed the history of these elements, starting with figures who amassed fortunes during periods of anarchy. Despite initial failures, unwholesome passions persisted, passed down through generations. Even during Grustilov's early governorship, liberalism was inadvertently protected. However, Ugryum-Burcheev's arrival ended Glupovite liberalism, as the Glupovites, exhausted by his demands, thought only of physical survival. As the new town neared completion and their labor eased, the flame of treason flickered. Celebrations followed, and Ugryum-Burcheev, exhausted, collapsed snoring, neglecting to appoint new spies. This gave the Glupovites their first moment of freedom, leading to a sudden sense of shame and anger at their past submissiveness. They realized he was merely an idiot, not a great force. The thought of his ceaseless marching became intolerable. Yet, he remained oblivious to the unwholesome passions stirring. An order announcing new spies was the last straw.
The chronicle then described an unprecedented event: the northern sky darkened, and a cloudburst or whirlwind rushed towards the town, churning earth, roaring, and belching sounds. Time slowed, the earth quaked, the sun darkened, and the Glupovites fell in terror. At this solemn moment, Ugryum-Burcheev turned to the crowd to announce There will come... but before he could finish, a resounding crack occurred, and he vanished as if melted into the air. The chronicler concluded, History had ceased its course.
Supporting Documents
The text presented three distinct documents, each offering a satirical perspective on the ideal qualities and practices of town-governors. The first document, composed by Town-Governor Borodavkin, emphasized the critical need for unanimity among governors to ensure effective administration. He defined the rights of governors as instilling fear in evil-doers and demanding obedience from all others.
The evil-doer may be a thief... a murderer... and finally, the evil-doer may be a free-thinker, and he it is who is the real evil-doer, inveterate and unrepentant to boot.
He elaborated on the classification of evil-doers, prioritizing free-thinkers as the most dangerous. He described mild measures as benevolent appearances and stern measures such as floggings and shootings, with a detailed, brutal progression of their application. The second document, composed by Town-Governor Prince Mikaladze, shifted focus to the physical attributes of an ideal governor. He argued that a governor should be neither too fat nor too lean, of a specific height, and well-proportioned. He emphasized the need for a clear, resonant voice and discussed the uniform's importance. Finally, he highlighted the strategic value of clandestine relations with the female sex. The third document, composed by Town-Governor Benevolensky, presented fifteen rules for benevolent governance. These rules included being benevolent, understanding that severity alone cannot satisfy basic human needs, giving a hearing to inhabitants before acting, and recognizing that even transgressors can perform useful deeds. It emphasized diligent inquiry before flogging and remembering that the Russian Empire's glory and income depend on its inhabitants.