Ugly Love (Hoover)/Chapter 29
from the Collection “Ugly Love”
Chapter Summary
While Tate was doing homework, Miles texted to invite her to the building’s heated rooftop pool. She was surprised that Corbin had never mentioned it. He explained that he hated pools, and she went to change.
Tate entered Miles’s apartment wearing a bikini and shorts. His staring initially made her uncomfortable, but he explained that he found her attractive. He wanted to stay inside with her, but she insisted on swimming.
They found the rooftop deserted. Tate admired the infinity pool, hot tub, and city view. Miles admitted that he had never been there before either. They entered the warm water and looked out over San Francisco together.
Miles stood close behind Tate and warmed her shoulders with water. When she asked whether he had always lived near San Francisco, he gave a brief answer. Her question about siblings made him guarded, and he challenged her attempt to learn about him.
Tate turned away, hurt by how little she knew about him despite his familiarity with her family and childhood home. She began to cry. She recognized that she wanted more than casual sex but feared losing him too much to leave.
Miles noticed her tears, apologized, and held her against his chest. He asked whether they should stop seeing each other, and she said no. He then asked whether she stayed because she expected him to fall in love with her. She silently admitted to herself that she did.
Miles said he could not love her. Tate wondered what had happened in his past and recalled Cap’s observation that something had taken away his spirit. Miles told her that if he could love anyone, it would be her, but insisted he was incapable of doing so.
When Miles began suggesting that the arrangement might be too hard for her, Tate interrupted. She lied that she liked things exactly as they were. He looked doubtful but accepted her answer. Cap then arrived to switch off the hot tub jets.
Cap remarked that they made a good-looking couple. Miles avoided the comment by offering to turn off the lights when they left. After Cap departed, Tate challenged Miles’s treatment of him. Miles said he disliked questions, then promised to stop being rude to Cap.
Tate was pleased by the small promise, and their conversation returned to affectionate teasing and kissing. Miles said he wanted to leave the pool and have sex with her in his apartment. She agreed, recognizing that physical intimacy had again displaced a conversation she needed to confront.
Characters
Quotes
As much as I know I’m too far gone to continue treating this as casual sex, I’m also too far gone to stop it. I’m terrified to lose him for good, so I sell myself short
“If I were capable of loving someone . . . it would be you.” My heart cracks with his words, and I feel the hope seep in and leak right back out again. “But I’m not capable. So if it’s too hard—”
And once again, what should have been an eye-opening conversation for me is shoved aside to make room for the only thing he’s willing to give me.