Ugly Love (Hoover)/Chapter 9
from the Collection “Ugly Love”
Chapter Summary
At her parents’ home for Thanksgiving, Tate was called to help Miles, who had cut his palm catching a falling ladder with her brother Corbin on it. She took him into the bathroom and examined the wound.
Tate recommended stitches at the emergency room, but Miles refused to spend the day there. At his insistence, she used thread from the first-aid kit. Their physical closeness made it difficult for her to concentrate as she stitched his hand.
Miles deliberately touched Tate’s leg and drew her closer. After she finished, he kissed her passionately and pressed her against the wall. He then abruptly stopped, said he should not have done it, and told her not to let him do it again.
At dinner, Tate’s mother asked whether Miles had a girlfriend. Corbin’s comments led her to assume Miles was gay. Corbin revealed that he had believed this for years, after Miles told him he had not been with a woman for three years.
Miles laughed at the misunderstanding and denied being gay. When Corbin suggested his abstinence might now have lasted six years, Miles became embarrassed. Tate redirected attention to his bleeding hand and later changed his dressing, but he avoided conversation and contact.
Unable to sleep, Tate noticed someone pause outside her bedroom and then walk away. She went to the kitchen and found Miles. They shared orange juice, and she asked about his relationships. He confirmed that he had gone six years without a girlfriend or, before that afternoon, a kiss.
Miles explained that he avoided both sex and love because people often could not separate them. He admitted being attracted to Tate but did not want to date or love anyone. He wanted a physical relationship without emotional expectations.
Tate agreed, arguing that their careers left little room for a relationship and that they had no close friendship to jeopardize. Privately, she doubted she could keep sex separate from her feelings and hoped their arrangement might eventually become something more.
Miles said they could not have sex immediately because his only condom was too old. Instead, they kissed until Tate’s father interrupted them in the kitchen and told her to go to bed. Embarrassed, they headed toward their rooms.
Outside Tate’s door, Miles kissed her again and checked whether she was sure. She suggested rules. He required that she never ask about his past or expect a future. Despite disliking both conditions, she agreed and reserved a rule of her own for later. He departed looking frightened, while she feared how their arrangement would end.
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“Most people can’t have one without the other,” he says. “So I find it easier to just give up both.” He’s studying me, gauging my reaction to his words. I do my best not to give him one.
Yet here I sit, pretending to be fine with *just sex*. Maybe if it starts out this way, it’ll eventually end up being something more.
His eyes focus on mine for several seconds. “Don’t ask about my past,” he says firmly. “And never expect a future.”
I absolutely don’t like either of those rules.