Choristers (Chekhov)
Short summary
A small Russian town, late 19th century. Rumors spread that Count Vladimir Ivanovitch would soon visit his Yefremovo estate. The local priest, Father Kuzma, urged Alexey Alexeitch, the church sacristan, to prepare the choir for the Count's arrival.
Alexey Alexeitch conducted rigorous choir practices twice daily, drilling the singers relentlessly on Bortnyansky's "Cherubim" hymn and other pieces. He was particularly harsh with Gennady, a bass singer who frequented taverns. Meanwhile, the deacon Avdiessov mocked their efforts, claiming the Count was an atheist who wouldn't care about their music.
"At what o'clock, your Excellency, do you desire us to ring for Mass tomorrow?" And he said: "As you think best. Only, couldn't it be as short and quick as possible without a choir." Without a choir! Er... do you understand, without, without a choir....
Detailed summary
Division into chapters is editorial.
Announcement of the Counts visit and introduction of choir members
News spread through Yefremovo that Count Vladimir Ivanovitch, the estate owner, would soon be arriving. The Justice of the Peace had received a letter from Petersburg announcing this, though the exact date remained unknown. Father Kuzma urged Alexey Alexeitch, the church sacristan, to ensure the choir performed at its best for the Count's visit.
Alexey Alexeitch assured the priest that he knew his business but expressed concern that the deacon might deliberately intone the litany in the wrong key out of spite. Father Kuzma promised to persuade the deacon to cooperate.
Alexey Alexeitch was a tall, thickset man of dignified deportment, with a fat, clean-shaven face that reminded one of a cow's udder. His imposing figure and double chin made him look like a man occupying an important position.
Despite his imposing appearance, Alexey Alexeitch had been known to flop to the ground before the bishop and once remained on his knees for two hours after a squabble with Deacon Yevlampy Avdiessov. Besides his church duties, Alexey Alexeitch taught schoolboys church and secular singing, receiving sixty roubles yearly from the Count's estate. In return, the schoolboys were required to sing in the church choir.
The choir practice routine and preparations for the Count
Due to the Count's anticipated visit, Alexey Alexeitch held choir practices every day, both morning and evening. These sessions took place at the school and didn't significantly interfere with regular school work. During practice, the schoolmaster, Sergey Makaritch, assigned the children writing exercises while he joined the tenors as an amateur singer.
The choir practice followed a consistent routine. Alexey Alexeitch would enter the schoolroom, slam the door, and blow his nose. The trebles and altos would noisily extricate themselves from their desks, while the tenors and basses, who had been waiting in the yard, would enter with heavy footsteps. After everyone took their places, Alexey Alexeitch would enforce silence and strike a note with his tuning fork.
The choir would begin with the Great Litany, which they had sung countless times before. This part was performed indolently and mechanically. However, before the "Cherubim" hymn, the atmosphere changed dramatically. The choir members began blowing their noses, coughing, and eagerly turning pages in their music books. The sacristan turned his back to the choir and mysteriously tuned his violin.
When they had to sing 'piano' an expression of benevolence and amiability overspread Alexey Alexeitch's face, as though he was dreaming of a dainty morsel. And when they had to sing 'forte' the sacristan's fat face expressed alarm and even horror.
The "Cherubim" hymn was performed so well that the schoolchildren abandoned their writing to watch Alexey Alexeitch's conducting. People gathered under the windows to listen, including Vassily the schoolwatchman, who came in wearing an apron and carrying a dinner-knife. Father Kuzma also appeared, looking anxious.
After one particularly challenging section, Alexey Alexeitch confronted Gennady Semitchov, the bass singer, criticizing his voice and accusing him of drinking. Father Kuzma intervened, trying to calm the situation by gently advising Gennady that singers needed to restrain themselves because their throats were tender.
The Counts arrival and dismissal of the choir
The choir continued practicing diligently for a month, then another. The steward also received notice of the Count's impending arrival. Finally, preparations at the main house began - sunblinds were removed from windows, and the out-of-tune piano could be heard playing. Father Kuzma grew increasingly anxious, while the deacon went about with a smug grin.
One Saturday evening, Father Kuzma visited Alexey Alexeitch with devastating news. The priest had spoken with the Count about the service time for the next day, and the Count had requested that the Mass be "as short and quick as possible without a choir." This instruction crushed the sacristan, who had worked so hard to prepare the choir for this occasion.
Alexey Alexeitch turned crimson. He would rather have spent two hours on his knees again than have heard those words! He did not sleep all night. He was not so much mortified at the waste of his labours as at the fact that the deacon would give him no peace.
The next day during the service, Alexey Alexeitch sang the responses alone while the deacon cast disdainful glances toward the choir. When passing with the censer, the deacon mockingly muttered about performing music and suggested the Count would give a ten-rouble note to the choir.
After the service, the sacristan headed home, crushed by mortification. At the gate, he was overtaken by the deacon, who was surprisingly sympathetic. The deacon revealed that he too had suffered a blow to his pride. After Mass, Father Kuzma had asked the Count what he thought of the deacon's deep bass voice.
"And the Count—do you know what he answered by way of compliment? 'Anyone can bawl,' he said. 'A man's voice is not as important as his brains.' A learned gentleman from Petersburg! An atheist is an atheist, and that's all about it!"
Finding themselves united in their disappointment, the two former enemies - the sacristan and the deacon - decided to go together for a drink to drown their sorrows. They left the church gate arm-in-arm, their long-standing rivalry temporarily set aside by their shared humiliation.