Ugly Love (Hoover)/Chapter 34

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✉️

Colleen Hoover

Ugly Love. Chapter 34

Rachel's departure and Miles's vow to abandon love

2014

Summary of a Chapter
from the Collection “Ugly Love”

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Chapter Summary

Six years earlier, Miles and Rachel returned to their parents rather than their own home. Grieving Clayton's loss, they cried together nightly, and Miles repeatedly apologized.

After three weeks, Rachel stopped crying one night and initiated sex. Miles urged her to wait two more weeks, but gave in. When she cried, he stopped; she told him to finish.

Rachel then left a letter saying her mother was taking her back to Phoenix. She could not look at Miles without seeing Clayton. She said she should not blame him, but Miles believed she did. Their parents' relationship had also become complicated.

Miles felt abandoned and blamed himself for tearing their families apart. He compared love's happiness to floating and its pain to drowning. Convinced that happiness could never justify such suffering, he vowed never to let himself love anyone again.

Characters

💔

Miles — narrator, young man and Rachel's partner, grieving Clayton's loss and seeking comfort from his father; consumed by guilt, he interprets Rachel's departure as proof that love is not worth its suffering.

✉️

Rachel — young woman, Miles's partner and Lisa's daughter, devastated by Clayton's loss; seeks physical closeness before leaving a letter explaining that she cannot remain with Miles.

🕯️

Clayton — male loved one whose loss underlies the couple's grief; remembered by Miles as bringing families together and constantly recalled by Rachel when she sees Miles, with age not specified here.

🧳

Lisa — adult woman, Rachel's mother and the partner of Miles's father; provides support for her daughter and takes her back to Phoenix as both relationships become strained.

🏠

Miles's father — adult man and Lisa's partner, someone his son longs to turn to for support; already knows about Rachel and Lisa's planned departure.

Quotes

I tried to stay. I tried to love you. Every time I look at you, I see him. Everything is him. If I stay, everything will always be him. You know that. I know you understand that. I shouldn’t blame you.***

The difference between the ugly side of love and the beautiful side of love is that the beautiful side is much lighter. It makes you feel like you’re floating. It lifts you up. Carries you.

You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.

I’ll never let myself love anyone again, Rachel.*

This summary is based on the UK edition of the novel (London: Simon & Schuster UK, 2014).