Ugly Love (Hoover)/Chapter 34
from the Collection “Ugly Love”
Chapter Summary
Six years earlier, Miles and Rachel returned to their parents rather than their own home. Grieving Clayton's loss, they cried together nightly, and Miles repeatedly apologized.
After three weeks, Rachel stopped crying one night and initiated sex. Miles urged her to wait two more weeks, but gave in. When she cried, he stopped; she told him to finish.
Rachel then left a letter saying her mother was taking her back to Phoenix. She could not look at Miles without seeing Clayton. She said she should not blame him, but Miles believed she did. Their parents' relationship had also become complicated.
Miles felt abandoned and blamed himself for tearing their families apart. He compared love's happiness to floating and its pain to drowning. Convinced that happiness could never justify such suffering, he vowed never to let himself love anyone again.
Characters
Quotes
- I tried to stay. I tried to love you. Every time I look at you, I see him. Everything is him. If I stay, everything will always be him. You know that. I know you understand that. I shouldn’t blame you.***
The difference between the ugly side of love and the beautiful side of love is that the beautiful side is much lighter. It makes you feel like you’re floating. It lifts you up. Carries you.
You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.
- I’ll never let myself love anyone again, Rachel.*