Ugly Love (Hoover)/Chapter 36
from the Collection “Ugly Love”
Chapter Summary
Miles struggled to hide his feelings as Tate came to say goodbye. He believed she still hoped he could love her, and privately wished he could, but answered with a cold farewell rather than asking her to stay.
Tate told Miles he deserved more than he allowed himself to have. She kissed his cheek and walked toward the elevator, where Corbin met her. Miles watched her wipe away tears, then closed his door and felt pain instead of relief.
Ian, who had witnessed the exchange, called Miles an idiot and asked why he was not following her. Miles resisted because Tate stirred feelings he had spent six years avoiding.
A knock interrupted them. Expecting Tate, Miles prepared to reject her again, but Corbin stood outside instead. Corbin punched him in the mouth, said he should have done it long ago, and left. Miles did not retaliate because he believed he deserved it.
Ian followed Miles into his bedroom and confronted him about his six years of emotional withdrawal. When Ian connected Tate's influence with the night at the lake, Miles angrily ordered him out. Ian refused, then followed him back into the living room.
Ian asked whether Miles would erase that terrible night if doing so also erased every happy memory of Rachel and their son. Miles could not answer either yes or no and tried to end the conversation.
Ian said Miles would previously have accepted that bargain immediately. He argued that a few months with Tate had already made the pain more bearable and asked him to imagine a lifetime with her. After Ian left, Miles felt his emotional defenses begin to break apart.
Miles went downstairs and sat beside Cap, the elderly maintenance worker who had known him all his life. Cap expressed disappointment that Miles had let Tate leave. Miles insisted the separation was necessary and that she was better off without him.
Cap acknowledged that neither he nor Miles's friends or father could fully understand his suffering. Only Rachel, the other parent of his dead baby boy, shared that loss. Cap said Miles believed he had destroyed her chance of happiness and needed to see whether she was okay.
Miles cried and asked what would happen if Rachel was not okay. Cap replied that nothing would change: Miles could continue denying himself a life and avoiding feelings. He urged Miles to confront his past, explaining that people sometimes faced their fear for those they loved more than themselves.
Characters
Quotes
Every time I’m with her, her eyes and her mouth and her voice and her smile find every vulnerable spot on me to breach. To seize. To conquer. Every time I’m around her, I have to fight it
If being with Tate for a few short months can make that pain bearable enough for you to answer with *maybe*, imagine what a lifetime with her could do for you.
I know the thought of confronting your past terrifies you. It terrifies every man. But sometimes we don’t do it for ourselves. We do it for the people we love *more* than ourselves.